IRANIAN FLYOVER
In addition to communicating with the local air traffic control facility, aircraft are required to give the Iranian Air Defense
Radar (military) a ten minute 'heads up' that they will be transiting Iranian airspace. This is a common procedure for
commercial aircraft and involves giving them your call sign, transponder code, type aircraft, and points of origin and
destination.
I just flew with a guy who overheard this conversation on the emergency frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe
to Dubai. It's too good not to pass along. The conversation went something like this:
Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft at (location unknown), you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace immediately we will launch
interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine fighter. Send 'em up!'
Air Defense Radar: (no response ... total silence) 8 NOV 08
New Enlistment Oaths:
U.S. COAST GUARD ENLISTMENT OATH
"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES COAST GUARD because I
know being in the real military scares me. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of
the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. I
understand that at least twice a day, someone will refer to me a member of the Air Force or Navy, and
when I correct them, they will question my military status. I will work on boats the size of kayaks and small
yachts during the worst of natures storms, and receive no thanks or notice from the public. I will fly in
helos into the eye of the storm to rescue people dumber then rocks, and then be heckled by the same
people when I bust them for transporting drugs two months later. I will prevent thousands of gallons of
pollution, but be accused of impeding the economy when I won't allow vessels to pour oil into the ocean.
I will be the red-headed step child to all of the other services, although I know I got the better deal. All of
my equipment will be discarded Navy property. I will use most of my time in the Coast Guard to take
college classes, and perfect my web surfing abilities, then complain that I work too much. I will perfect
avoiding PT at all costs, and do my best to attend training that will give me a great competitive edge in
the career field of my choice, making retention efforts of the Coast Guard pointless. I will come in contact
with so many pollutants during my tenure, I will glow in the dark for the rest of my natural life and refer to
my self as "salty" because of it. I will do my best to work 8 to 3, with a two hour lunch, on normal days, and
have my pager and cell phone surgically attached, SO HELP ME GOD.
____________________
Signature
____________________
Date
US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I
know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water
over waist-deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but
promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling
everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better
quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After
completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting,
civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make
an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me,
and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!"
____________________
Signature
____________________
Date
US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my otherwise mediocre life to the UNITED STATES
ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough
for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and
tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear
my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue to tell my self that I am a fierce killing
machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a
court-martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service,
and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my
Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different Army school every other month and return
knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool
and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might
leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her
back. While at work I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I
will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back
to "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job up! on
separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone
about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a
placement exam. So Help Me God!"
_____________________
Signature
_____________________
Date
US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY,
because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the
Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I
thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to
have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for
the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a
different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover,
geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle, and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole
in wall, and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and
everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no
sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with
the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the
point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent
to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for
Chief, I am required to submit my self to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound
"colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!"
______________________
Signature
______________________
Date
US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (pick a name the police won't recognize), swear..uhhhh....high-and- tight.... grunt... cammies....kill....fix
bayonets....charge....slash... .dig....burn....blowup....ugh. ..Air Force women....beer.....sailors wives.....air
strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....Ooorah Gunny....grenades...women.... OORAH! So Help
Me Chesty PULLER!"
X____________________
Thumb Print
XX ______________________________ ___
Teeth Marks
Smart kid !!
A 10-year-old girl was walking down the street when a big man on a black
motorcycle pulls up beside her and says, "Hey little girl, do you want
to go for a ride?"
"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside her again and says, "Hey kid, I will
give you $10 if you hop on the back."
"NO!" said the little girl and proceeded down the street a little
quicker.
The motorcyclist pulls up to the little girl again and says, "Okay kid,
I will give you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back of my
bike for a ride."
At this point the little girl turns to him and screams angrily, "Look
Dad,
YOU bought a Honda instead of a Harley so YOU ride it!"
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